5 Tips to change how you talk to yourself so you are More Positive every day


Welcome to the Kindness Clubhouse!

I am excited to have you here to get tips and resources to help you show more kindness.  In this post I focus on ways that you can show kindness to yourself.

For me, this is the toughest part to learn because I grew up being taught that the focus should be on other people. BUT the whole reason I chose for the “R” in Let’s R.O.C.K. to stand for “radiate” is because for something to radiate it must come from a center point.

So…. to Radiate Outrageous Compassion & Kindness (R.O.C.K.) you need to show that compassion & kindness to yourself.

I hope you enjoy these tips!



If you want to change how you talk to yourself and be more positive, you have to start where your thoughts start – in the mind.  This can be as easy or as challenging as you make it. You are in control of your thoughts and how you react to situations. But, as much as you want a positive mindset and are taking the steps towards it – things happen and it is easy to let the negative self talk back in.  If that is how it is for you – try these tips – they were a game changer for me.

Tip #1 to Talk more Positive to yourself – Daily Affirmations

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

– Brene Brown

A daily affirmation is a positive statement you say to yourself each day.  It is a great way to combat the negative self talk and it challenges the thoughts you have about yourself.

  • Write down some positive “I am” statements and say them each day.  “I am kind.” “I am making a difference”. “What I do today is important.”  
  • Consistency in saying these affirmations are key. Just like anything else you do – to be good at it you need practice.
  • Write down some statements and put in your purse so you have them ready to grab when you feel negative thoughts enter your mind or you catch yourself in negative self-tale.

CHECK OUT my post on Daily Affirmations for teachers to get some ideas – these are great for parents and students too!


Tip #2 to Talk more Positive to yourself – Practice Gratitude

Change expectations for gratitude and the world instantly changes

– Tony Robbins

I have found that when I constantly think about things I am thankful for, I feel more positive and I started to talk to myself in a different way.  I feel blessed and humbled that such wonderful things are in my life.

  • Each morning make a list of 5 things I am thankful for
  • Write a thank you note to someone – even if you never send it
  • Do an act of kindness for someone – it makes you feel good and may help another person’s day.

Tip #3 to Talk more Positive to yourself – Find out what causes the Negative thoughts and feelings

Everything you tell yourself matters. It can feel like a punch or like a hug – your choice.

Have you ever started your day thinking it was going to be great but then someone makes a snarky comment or you make a mistake and that awesome day gets thrown against the wall, trampled on, and stabbed right through the heart?  Think about what causes it to happen and know that you aren’t always able to prevent the situation BUT prepare yourself to know its not you.

  • Make a list of things that happen that get your day off track. Why do you think they create a negative response?
  • Practice your responses to those situations or what you can say to yourself when they do happen
  • Continue working on your mindset each morning 

Tip #4 to Talk more Positive to yourself – Surround yourself with Positive Things

If you surround yourself with positive people who build you up – the sky is the limit. – Joel Brown

If you want to think more positively and act with more kindness, you need things (and people) around you that serve as reminders.  There are some really inspiring quotes that I put around my office and tape on my desk that help me. Then, when something happens, and I look down in frustration, the quote is right there where I see it, and reminds me that it is how I react that makes a difference. 

This is especially helpful in how I reflect kindness back to someone else and has saved me from snapping back.

  • Search on Pinterest for quotes and images that you can print out
  • Find a poster you love or a desk accessory and use it for decor
  • Wearable quotes will go with you through the day – I love these bracelets and necklaces that are constant reminders.

Tip #5 to Talk more Positive to yourself – Podcasts & Audio books

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it up with positive thoughts your life will start to change.

When I realized that I was starting my workday in a negative way and I found out the cause – I knew I had a substitute what was causing the negative with something more positive.  Since my commute to work each day is about 30 minutes, I started listening to Podcasts and Audiobooks. I found some encouraging and uplifting people to listen to and then had it play from my favorite app while I was driving.

I listen to all my podcasts on PodCoin.  It has everything that iTunes has but you get to earn coins that you can put towards gift cards or donate to some of your favorite causes. (use kimufexl to get started with 150 coins right now!)

Audible is wonderful for listening to the books that I don’t have time to read during the day.  It is great for professional development and I am excited once I get to work because there is usually an idea I got from listening that I can then try out.  

When I made this simple change, my students and staff noticed it almost immediately.  They said I walked to my office with more energy and a more positive vibe.


Just for visiting the Project Stella Resources blog, you can get a free trial to Audible and get 2 free books that you can keep!

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Pinterest Kindness Clubhouse


Bonus Tip – Make a Difference for a cause you are passionate about!

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